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[Oct. 26th, 2007|09:53 pm] |
This is a special message to the one called "Julianne". Come to the dark side. I'll let you touch Dave's ass if you do. Then I'll probably have to charge you a blowjob but you wouldn't mind, obviously.
As for the rest of you...
CLAUDINE, WHY ARE YOU NOT BEHIND THE DUMPSTER?
HANNAH AND RYAN: IN THE BED RESERVED ONLY FOR UNDERAGED GROUPIES
ZAP: PREPARE THE CAT-O-NINE TAILS
LAURA: YOU'RE ON MY SHIT LIST BUT YOU'D BETTER GET YOUR FUCKING KNEE PADS READY.
And as for my two newest victims recruits, ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) undermywheels and strwbryflds4evr, it's high time you paid a visit to Monstercock town. Only the best for my fans, naturally! |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 13th, 2007|10:52 am] |
Oh yes, my groupie minions, it has been a long time…apparently mooserevenge has been gagging for me and so, in the interest of possibly getting some ass, I’m updating this fucking thing. Not that I need to update a journal to get ass or anything. Really.
Anyway, how are you? I don’t give a shit. There are a lot of things wrong with my life right now:
1. Fatty McFuck had the nerve to release ANOTHER DVD of his fucking boring, non-technically-amazing concert. He did NOT get my permission. Anyway, it’s not out until September which gives me some time to arrange a little…sabotage. Oh yes, you know what that means: the ol' radio in the bathtub prank. I haven't killed him with it yet but I have "high hopes" this time (hahahahaha not the AMLOR clever forgery but another clever forgery nonetheless hahahaha division bell my ass more like the bell that tolls when i shove my foot up his ass whatever the fuck that means)
2. I was very distressed by the John From Cincinnati season/series finale in that I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND IT AT ALL. HBO is now on my twenty chapter-long shit list.
3. Syd fell down a rabbit hole the other day and I haven’t seen him since. Who else can I get to voluntarily polish my Monstercock?! I mean, it’s alright to force Rick to do it at knifepoint but the crying can get annoying after awhile.
Did everyone see my Live Earth jeans? Yeah, knickers around the world had to be changed simultaneously when I sauntered out onto that stage. That was my little charitable contribution. No need to thank me! Your life should be enough.
Hm, what else has happened around my mansion house since I wrote last? Fatty has taken to wearing Rick’s coke around his eyes in some sort of horrifying fashion statement…about how much he likes coke. And eye shadow. What a poof.
ANOTHER THING I’D LIKE TO SAY: I’M VERY DISAPPOINTED WITH THE LACK OF COMMENTS. WHY AREN’T YOU PAYING ATTENTION TO ME? WHEN THERE IS A GOD IN YOUR MIDST, YOU ARE REQUIRED TO GIVE TRIBUTE IN THE FORM OF LIVEJOURNAL COMMENTS AND/OR THE OFFERING OF YOUR FACE TO MY BUKKAKE-CENTRIC HAREM.
Okay, I have to go now. Nick wants to get on here and look at some sort of Disney's "Cars" porn. |
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| Poseur... |
[Apr. 16th, 2007|04:21 pm] |
Looks like a certain utter shitbag has his own journal now. And I hate him so much that I'm going to "pimp" it, as you kids say: gil_mo_ass |
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| Easter Über Alles! |
[Apr. 7th, 2007|08:34 am] |
Easter is on Sunday and that means our tradational egg hunt! We each decorate our own eggs and hide them around my mansion house. Then on Sunday morning, we all put our Easter frocks on and find them. Everyone avoids Syd's as his are laced with an amazing type of acid that's instantly absorbed through the skin on contact. Then I lie down on the ground with my camera phone and covertly take photos up everyone's dresses and sell the pictures on ebay for coke money.
So the other day I made Dave really mad because I was making fun of his dead mother. He asked how I’d feel if he were to mock my father, which I think we all know is a completely different story. So I said “I don’t know, but I bet your mom was a right slut!” which was HILARIOUS, though he didn’t see the humor in it. So since then he’s taken to ambushing me any chance he gets a’la Cato in the Pink Panther movies. I’ll come home and everything’ll be eerily quiet, then he’ll come screaming out of nowhere, holding a wiffleball and bat. He’ll throw the ball in the air and hit it into my crotch, which is slightly painful – but not to worry, Monstercock is pretty much indestructible. This is something he hasn’t yet learned, in spite of his vast "hands-on" experience.
By far the most painful attack is the ass hit. He’ll have camouflaged himself among the kitchen cupboards and when I go in to eat something very English like crumpets or scones, he strikes. This involves throwing himself at me ass-first, usually in the head, and with the size of that thing I’ve leaked cerebrospinal fluid out of my ears and nose on more than one occasion.
Also, Syd seems to have lost himself inside the house again. We can hear him scrabbling around inside the walls, talking about getting the fear and screaming “REMEMBER ANTIETAM 1862!!!” |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 22nd, 2007|03:59 pm] |
Blast! I foolishly let slip my plans for mooserevenge in a moment of trouser-excitement. You see, she knows…too much to be allowed to survive. She also knows who my doppelgangers are now. It’s all part of my bid for world domination and no one will stand in my way! BWA HA HA HA HA and other such maniacal phrases.
I’m still crushed by the news of my beloved Mr. Humphries death and so I’ve decided on a tribute: at the shows this year instead of showing images of Syd on-screen during “Shine On”, there will be images of Mr. Humphries mincing in slow motion. Also, the lyrics will be changed to
“Remember when it was the seventies
You played a completely inoffensive stereotype…ies
Prance on, you flaming fairy cake!”
Rick has agreed to play “POYFFC” at a few shows and I was thinking that instead of the bubbles from last year, I could have him guillotined. I decided that wasn’t a good idea: after all, you can only chop his head off once, right? So, thinking of what I had to work with, I decided that I’d hire David to come out in “cheeky shorts” and drop it like it’s hot for my devoted audience. Afterwards, Nick will speed out into the crowd in a Ferrari adorned with British flags – those run over will represent something about war or whatever. It’ll be great. Those left alive will feel like they’ve been part of something really special; because that’s what you get when you come to a Roger Waters show. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 4th, 2007|09:56 am] |
(sigh) I’ve missed big productions like The Wall Live in Berlin where I get to act and truly be the center of attention. The way I destroyed that mock hotel room was quite impressive and not at all lilyish. So I was searching through Rick’s collection of “secret” records – among the “Astoundingly Real Sex Sounds of Men and Women – You Won’t Believe This! Hot and Horny Men and Women Recorded For Your Ears Only!” I found…a strange novelty record recorded by my old idol, Mr. Humphries! Why it was in his stash of porn vinyl is beyond me. Anyway, I burned the rest and took this one. I was thinking of possibly working it into my act. Right after “Leaving Beirut”, I figured that we could segue into this. For instance, I thought that Nick could come out with me in a top hat and tails and we’d do a snappy little two-step number. I think that the audience would lap that up like Syd does when the Mount Vesuvius in my trousers erupts (oh, I am on form today, aren’t I?!) Not to mention the bold statement I'd be making about...something. I'd really like the close the number by bringing out the pig with impeachment messages written on it, then maybe I could rip off my tuxedo to reveal...my dictator costume (with vicariously-placed tears of course)! It'll be fucking amazing. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 21st, 2007|12:52 pm] |
So I just announced the last dates for my world domination tour and I’m doing a sweep of the US again. Those Yankees just can’t get enough of me. And believe me, at each show they’ve listened with rapt attention to my solo works and TFC songs as well. I mean, no one was getting up for concessions or lighting up in preparation for the DSOTM set or anything. I could read the fucking phone book and they’d still be creaming themselves – I know I would be!
In other news, Rick’s been reading some sort of stupid self-help book and is now fully convinced that he can stand up to me. Ha ha, I’m letting him live with the illusion for a bit. Today he refused to eat his Kibbles ‘n’ Bits from the dog food bowl on the floor and instead demanded “people food”. So I obliged and he’s now savoring a Hungry Man TV dinner of the highest quality. I’m unsure of how I’ll shatter his beautiful dream…probably with the usual swift kick in the balls but I’m in the mood for a little variety today. Perhaps “a wild stab in the dark” as Blackadder would say.
Speaking of which, Blackadder is a very fine fellow! I can definitely see the parallel between his relationship with Baldrick and my relationship with Rick (hee hee, their names even sound alike) except Rick is infinitely whinier, but that’s nothing a good, old-fashioned murder can’t fix! Never let anyone tell you that I’m a pessimist because that’s a load of rubbish.
In other other news I’m very nervous about touring around the East coast this time around. Last time siko_k and ineedthechunky threw their knickers at me: normally I wouldn’t object to this but I’m extremely terrified of the former. Afterward I got on the tour bus to go back to the hotel and found that they’d strapped themselves to the underside of the bus a'la Cape Fear. They somehow crawled inside and kept saying “get on the hole, Roger!” in really bad Southern drawls, all the while giggling madly at that statement. I must admit that in spite of my terror, I couldn’t help but chuckle as well at such a hilarious double-entendre. All of this freaked Syd out and he kept going “I’m getting the fear, Rog!” whilst madly lapping up a puddle of horseradish sauce. Meanwhile David was having his ass and titties fondled and this was when I realized that the monsters must be stopped!
Brilliantly I decided to stop the bus, throw them off, douse them in some kerosene that I conveniently happened to have, and set fire to their already overheated bodies. After even more giggling/Wicked Witch of the West-like cackling, I watched as they slowly melted into a pool of liquid metal. As we speed away into the night, I looked back in triumph only to see them regenerating…
Only Nick Nolte and Arnold Schwarzenegger can save me now.
Edit: Have you noticed my new icon? I think I look just so cute when I laugh! I'm sure that it fills you with joy as well, just knowing that your messiah is happy. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 16th, 2007|03:19 pm] |
...I do not recall this.
Unless of course I was dosed, which isn't entirely impossible seeing as how I live with two snake in the grass bastards and Syd. Sometimes Syd unintentionally doses me simply by being in the same city.
Anyway, Dave does waitress at Hooter's when he isn't making music, dancing in videos, and letting people pay to pull pud on his titties. What a slut, because I've never done anything like that...and it's not because people never make any offers because they think I'm ugly. Honestly.
Well, have to go. I'm getting ready to draw on the wall with magic marker along with my good friend Stanley P. Kachowski. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 14th, 2007|04:25 pm] |
I must say I’ve been having a lovely Australian Valentine’s Day. Picture this: My hotel suite, some Foster’s and my two best whores by my side. In the distance Rick is pushing a giant boulder up a hill only to have it roll back down so that he has to repeat the process perpetually. Nick gave me a crustless apple pie with cream spa treatment, though I’m not sure it worked so much as it made me very sticky all over…oh ho ho, speaking of “sticky”, I gave David one in the eye a few minutes ago. I think it was a six-roper! Anyway, Fatty got all upset but he couldn’t see me to do anything about it. HA HA, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR CLEVER FORGERY NOW?????
Anyway, hope you’re all having a lovely time. You may feel free to comment with your Valentines wishes and preferably your full address.
Lots of cocklove to you all!
-----@
PS. By the way, I really am fucking while I'm writing this - tell me I can't multitask! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 31st, 2007|04:03 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hungry | ] |
In the words of Martin Luther King, who also fought for equality though probably didn’t do as much as me, I have a dream…
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 23rd, 2007|03:37 pm] |
Two weeks ago was Syd’s birthday so I got the party started early: while he was still sleeping I gave him some surprise sex which, regardless of what anyone else tries to tell you, is not rape. Anyway, later on I hid myself in a giant cake and had the others wheel it out to the backyard where all the party things were set up. After they finished a chorus of “For He’s A Jolly Good Fellow”, I popped out of the cake. Initially Syd’s face lit up but when he saw it was me, he faltered. I think he was afraid that I’d fatigue myself. After that he opened his gifts which all turned out to be different types of acid because we really didn’t know what else he’d want. Naturally I gave him the Blue Sunshine, which is his favourite.
( Here’s another survey I did on a fascinating subject. Can you guess what it is? ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 10th, 2006|01:28 pm] |
Well, my US Tour is long over but don’t worry - Australia is next! That’s right; Aussies too will be treated to my great pyrotechnics display, clever (if I do say so myself) lip-synching, and overpriced tickets! Then after that it’s off to South America, Asia, then the Continent. I’d change the name from “The Dark Side of the Moon Tour” to “Spreading My Seed all over the World, Probably Though Use of Chloroform and Fathering Dozens of Freakish Illegitimate Children Tour” if my PR agent didn’t think it would affect ticket sales. I can't understand why. I guess that's why I'm the artist.
I’ve been relaxing back at my Mansion House for the past few months and slipped back into the usual routines. Hunting, fishing, violent outbursts, fucking Syd, setting Rick’s face on fire. Very mundane things really. I have taken a new job, though. I’m managing Dave in his current “video ‘girl’” career and believe me, the demand is fucking enormous. Who would have thought? Anyway, that usually consists of me meeting up with some director, them giving me fifty quid, and me handing Dave over for the day. What they do with him I don’t know but when he comes home he looks very tired and mentions something about wanting to douche his ass.
Tonight I’m having a party and inviting all of my cool friends like Eric Clapton and Jeff Beck and other people who, while they aren’t as popular, attractive, well-liked, and generously endowed as I am, are still very famous. We’re going to play Truth or Dare, make prank phone calls to Margaret Thatcher, and I’m going to give everyone a makeover using my own vitamin-filled “Roger Manna” facial. And don’t worry: it’s all homegrown and harvested (with help from Syd, Baby, and occasionally unwillingly from Frail Fiend.) I’ve been thinking about bottling it and selling it as a Fountain of Youth miracle solution. Old women will buy it. Ah, the elderly…they’re so funny because they’re like helpless little children and
OH MY GOD. THESE FRUIT SNACKS THAT NICK BOUGHT ME AREN’T THE FINDING NEMO SHAPES THAT I WANTED AND OH MY GOD I CAN’T OPEN IT ON MY OWN SOMEONE PLEASE HELP |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 31st, 2006|12:25 pm] |
I had my fantastic Halloween party on Saturday night. Everyone who was anyone was there, regardless of what anyone else might tell you. So yeah, it’s not like it was just various friends and members of my family that pitied me enough to come.
Fatty originally had his heart set on a sailor costume but I told him that it wasn’t age-appropriate. Instead I bought him an adorable pumpkin costume:
Syd showed up wearing all green and claiming that he was a blade of grass. Well, that certainly wasn’t going to fly. I think what I chose for him was a vast improvement…
( Read more... ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 4th, 2006|02:12 pm] |
Yesterday Fatty accused me of not playing well with others…what the fuck? Honestly, where does he get this rubbish? I’m the nicest person I know!
I mean, whenever my minions request a number, I’m always happy to oblige them.
I never use foul language.
I'm always patient with my co-workers and certainly never patronizing. I am a source of great encouragement. (HA HA, BABY DOESN’T KNOW LEFT FROM RIGHT I GUESS HE HAS TO GO BACK TO NURSERY SCHOOL)
And I have an infinite amount of patience with the fans. Believe me.
You know, I think the bottom line is simply that I’m fantastic. You cannot argue with that and I believe these enchanting clips prove it.
Also, the yousendit cunts that I’m using will only let me keep these up for a week so I suggest listening while you can. You know you’d never forgive yourself for a missed opportunity of hearing my melodic, un-nasal voice.
The tour has been going well. Ha ha, the other day I play a very funny prank on the audience: after we finished “Bring the Boys Back Home”, I asked for quiet and announced that Dave and I had finally worked out our all of our differences. Pink Floyd would be reforming for good, going into the recording studio, and embarking on a worldwide tour. Would you believe the excitement? I mean, some people, who probably thought they’d never live to see us play together again, were actually crying. It was quite touching, really. We did a very nice “Comfortably Numb” and everyone responded very nicely. Then we bowed and, laughing heartily, I told the audience that I was just joking about the Pink Floyd reforming thing: “Do the words ‘a cold day in hell’ mean anything to you?” – they couldn’t see the humor in it! Why can no one understand the humor there? One of my backup singers said that she noticed a red dot dancing across my forehead…I wonder what it was. Sadly, I didn’t have time to find out because we had to go.
Got back to my formally sleek black bus reading “THIS IS ROGER WATERS’ TOUR BUS PLEASE DO NOT LOOK DIRECTLY INTO THE TINTED WINDOWS AS IT MAKES HIM UNCOMFORTABLE and found that Syd had splashed it with multicoloured paints. And was writhing against said paints – oh Christ, the MESS! THE DISORDER! I told Syd to clean it up right away but I don’t think that he was in any state. So I pulled Rick out of his bunk and told him to lick it all off – including Syd.
“But no one could ingest this much paint and live!”
“You should have thought about that before you psychically induced Syd to drop acid, go buy some paint, and ruin my bus – oh and when you’re done with him, send him to my bunk.”
Baby was just getting back from an audition for a Petey Pablo video – he got the part. Now he’s breaking in his new hot pants. Oh, and just to let you in on a little secret…Petey Pablo is just Pete Townshend’s pseudonym…he just hired some random fellow to mime to his vocals. You see, a few years ago he decided that he wanted to try his hand in rap and was smashingly successful. But (taps nose) keep that under your hat. Also, there is no evidence that “Back That Ass Up” was written for or about Dave. None whatsoever. He also asked me to tell you that he never gave sexual favors to Juvenile to get ahead in the music industry…
Anyway, I was not staring at Dave’s ass and thinking about how much I wanted to grab it, nor was I watching him shake it, practicing for the aforementioned video, nor was I pitching a trouser tent. Nick had just bought a toddler toy; a mounted steering wheel that beeped, quacked, and whistled. He was having great fun with that so he barely noticed the strip club-like dancing. Too bad for him…NOT THAT I CARED, OF COURSE! No, no pud-pulling last night...
I wonder what’s taken Rick so long? |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 13th, 2006|09:06 pm] |
Celebrated my fabulous birthday last week, though I have no idea why I didn’t get the pony that I asked for. Or the Porshe. Or the doomsday machine. Well, the hell with that!
Though I tried to declare a holiday for myself, I was forced to perform in New Jersey. Oh well. Knowing that I brought joy to all those happy people in the audience made it all worthwhile. That and having their money and undivided attention.
I was shockingly booed for “Leaving Beirut”. But that’s okay – I promised to exact revenge on the audience’s children…IN THEIR DREAMS. I’m being fitted for my claw tonight.
When I created my El Jay, I had no idea that I’d have groupies. But it seems that the ladies just can’t get enough of me…I don’t blame them really. It would be difficult not to submit to my gloriousness. Anyway, irish_spectre took on the daunting task of appeasing me with her oral abilities which, regardless of what she might say, were not given in return for any song dedications. It was simply her inability to resist the Monstercock. By that I mean charm and graciousness.
Anyway, here are some photos from the happy day:
What I wore:
I sexily recline with my vintage wine. I’ve just forced Rick to eat broken glass at gunpoint. I think we both really enjoyed it!:
( Hooray for me! ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 4th, 2006|07:29 pm] |
Went camping the other day. I didn’t want to go but Baby and Frail Fiend insisted. I decided to be charitable and honor them with my presence. I hate the great outdoors – I mean, it’s rather difficult to control nature, don’t you think? Syd pitched us some tents and I must commend his skill – all those years he was in the girl scouts clearly didn’t go to waste. We had a thunderstorm so before I crawled into my tent to escape the rain, I made sure to kick Rick’s down. This made him cry and I felt rather accomplished, so I had some “alone time” afterward.
Late that night I accidentally wandered into David’s tent, crawled into his sleeping bag, and took his trousers down (thinking they were mine.) He kicked me out without giving me any time to explain – that stupid cunt. So I sat and watched Syd dancing naked around the fire in some kind of pagan fertility ritual, kicked Rick’s tent down again, and went back to sleep in mine. I woke up in the morning to find that the campsite was gone. Confused, I wandered out of the forest and to the nearby parking lot to find the car – that too was gone! Obviously they played some kind of trick on me, making me think they’d forgotten to wake me up before they left. I waited around for a little while, got bored after the tenth hour, and hitchhiked home. Everyone seemed very shocked to see me – David said something along the lines of “but that bear was supposed to maul you!” I had no idea what he was talking about so I assumed they were all very happy to see me.
I’m writing this from the bus. You see, I’m on my American tour – please buy a non-overpriced ticket and see me not lip-synch! Everyone’s here – David is raiding the fridge, Nick is driving, Rick is in the fridge, and Syd is happy on the roof, yet again. Oh, and guess what? MY BIRTHDAY IS IN TWO DAYS. I’m turning 6 -19! Send cards, money, and semi-automatics to:
ROGER WATERS’ FABULOUS TOUR BUS
THE HIGHWAY
USA
C/O WILD WINNER |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 18th, 2006|08:27 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | blind | ] |
| [ | music |
| | mansion house bedroom | ] |
I know that you’ve all been losing sleep worrying about me (quite rightly) but never fear! I’m slowly but surely getting better! The doctor told me that I should be up and about but what does he know? I’ve prescribed lots of bed rest for myself, which obviously means that I can’t do anything on my own. I have personal nurses on duty ‘round the clock to feed me, give me sponge baths, and not to sexually harass, incase that’s what you were thinking.
Doctor Syd is also attending to me, taking my temperature, checking my reflexes, and giving me my daily “vitamins”. He says that it’s important that I get plenty of pelvic exercise as well and is always happy to assist. I think I enjoy being sick.
In the meantime, I took this quiz because I wanted to find out whether or not Syd is just using me for my perfect body:
…I have no idea what you mean by the first response. And I do not wear (much) makeup! I don't need cosmetics to look beautiful. And I’ll have you know that my legs are not open right now – my mouth is. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 16th, 2006|02:56 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sad | ] |
Had my date with klaudyna last night WHICH I KNOW WILL PROVE MY COMPLETE HETEROSEXUALITY. I made sure to have Radio Kaos playing on the boombox behind Arby’s where we met. I think it really set the mood. Anyway, she gave me her saucy Polish love, though I don’t really understand why she had earplugs in; a cultural thing? Because I know it had nothing to do with the erotic music I was playing. Anyway, she’s a very talented girl and I’m thinking of pimping her out, along with Dave. She hasn’t given me her consent but I think she’ll see things my way when I threaten her with a cock-smiting…
When I got home, I had a relaxing bath. Syd joined me because he happened to need a bath at the exact same time that I did and the ten other bathrooms in my mansion house were out of order. Dave walked in on us and said that he needed to use the tub because he had to go somewhere. I told him that he couldn’t take a bath without adult supervision because babies are very prone to drowning. Besides, it was past his bedtime anyway. He threw the metal soap dish at my face; Baby didn’t have his nappy-nap today, so I guess he was a little cranky. I reassured him by promising that I’d warm some milk up for his baba and turn the mobile (I had it installed over his bed last week) on.
Later I awoke to a saucer of scalding hot milk being poured on my face. I’m writing to you from my laptop at the emergency room. I know that you will all be very devastated to hear of this horrible news but never fear, my minions; Despite the red blotches on my face and my blindness (I’m forcing Rick to type this at cock-point), I know that I’m still the object of your wildest desires. Please send condolences, flowers, money, and phallic vegetables to:
ROGER WATERS’ FABULOUS MANSION HOUSE
123 SPLENDID MANSION STREET
CAMBRIDGE
C/O FRAIL FIEND |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 14th, 2006|11:59 am] |
Got pissed this weekend, woke up on Sunday morning working the cash register at McDonald’s. I threw my hat down on the counter and told the manager to take this job and shove it. Before I took some fries that is. Now I understand why you’re not supposed to stick your hand in the deep fryer.
Went down to the basement to get some cutting sheers and found that Dave has been growing Columbian Gold down there. It was a veritable jungle. So I held him at sheerpoint and demanded a cut of the profit. 75% perhaps? That and a blowjob. He told me to fuck off and punched me in the face with brass knuckles, which he conveniently happened to be wearing. Went down to the basement to cry and found Syd hiding among the plants, trying to camouflage himself. It didn’t work very well with his pastel clothes and day-glo face paint. I told him I wouldn’t give away his hideout if he gave me a blowjob. He ignored me and writhed rapturously in the plants instead.
At this point I was getting desperate for some head and went upstairs to beat Rick into submission. Turns out he went sailing on his yacht and DID NOT INVITE ME. WHY WOULD HE NOT INVITE ME? I’M THE LIFE OF THE PARTY FOR FUCK’S SAKE. I was going to harass Nick, but he was playing Grand Theft Auto and once he starts on that thing, making him get off of it is like ripping his life away.
Ohh…I need head! I don’t understand why everyone is telling me ‘no’! I’m so nice all the time, you’d think they’d be lining up on their knees for me! IT’S NOT FAIR! I’LL HAVE MY LAWYER SUE ALL OF THEM FOR NON-COMPLIANCE, THEN USE THE MONEY TO BUY SOME WHORES BECAUSE WHORES DON’T TALK BACK. WHORES DON’T PUNCH YOU WITH BRASS KNUCKLES AND TAKE YOUR BAND’S NAME AND MAKE MUSIC UNDER IT WHICH IS A HA HA CLEVER FORGERY |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 11th, 2006|04:08 pm] |
Today I took a survey, which is all about me. I only did half of it because it just got fucking tiresome, but I may post the rest tomorrow. Depending on how the mood takes me. I know that this will crush my readers if I don't. I hold the key to your happiness in my hands, I know.
Personal information
First Name// Roger
Age// 18. Really
Gender// I won't even dignify that with an answer.
Nickname(s)// Sexy Animal, Sex God, Sex Beast, The Almighty
Hair Color// Beautiful brown locks
Hair Style// Longish. Like another part of my anatomy.
Eye Color// SPARKLING EMERALD GREEN
( Read more... ) |
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horny
angry
scared
nostalgic